From Death to Laughter
Inspired by Faith. Motivated by Truth. Challenged by Christ.
Author: Pastor Isaac Cho
I was in disbelief when my sister told me Robin Williams committed suicide. This is what’s interesting about the “celebrity system,” even though a majority of us don’t know Robin personally, we feel as if we actually knew him, based on our experiences watching him on the big screen. It seemed as if the whole world was mourning the tragic loss of a great friend. As with most tragedies, people started asking questions. How could someone, who brought so much laughter and joy, be haunted by so much pain and sadness?
There is an interesting relationship between comedy and tragedy. Next time you hear a comedian performing his or her stand up, listen carefully and ask yourself why you laugh. What makes a joke funny? I mean a good comedian is like a good musician, it is all about timing and delivery. However, if we pay close attention to why we laugh at jokes, at stand up routines, at comedic moments in movies, we realize its because we can relate. Now I’m not a professional comedian, but I understand what a comedian does. When they stand up there, they share very intimate moments and situations in their lives. If it was delivered by a non-comedian, it would be tragic.
Lets take a simple “poop” joke for example. The reason why we still get a chuckle from a simple poop joke is because we’ve all pooped before (at least I hope). For some of us, we’ve all experienced a time in which we had to use the bathroom, but no bathroom was available. And for the “lucky” few (I would be in this category), we’ve experienced relieving ourselves in places other than a designated bathroom out of sheer desperation. It’s tragically funny.
My parents named me Isaac. At first I questioned why they would give me, an Asian-American boy, a very Jewish name. I grew to like it. At least I wasn’t named a typical Korean-American name like Daniel (which ironically is my brother’s name). I learned at a young age, that Isaac translates to laughter, or to be more precise, “he laughs.” In Genesis, we see the reasoning behind why Abraham named his son Isaac.
Later on, God commands Abraham to offer his son, Isaac, as a sacrifice. I’ve always wondered what Isaac was thinking about during this time. Was he thinking about the meaning behind his name as he was tied to the altar? Was he questioning why his father was doing this to him? Did he put up a fight, or struggle? Or did he just stay still, accepting his fate? When Abraham raised his dagger, was Isaac thinking about laughter? Before Abraham was able to kill his son, an angel of the Lord appeared and stopped him.
To me, this story is very symbolic (and yes, an actual account). For me, it represents this strange dichotomy between tragedy and comedy. Isaac was born to Abraham and Sarah decades past the “prime” of their age. If a centennial were to give birth today, it would be a medical miracle. For Sarah and Abraham, it was a source of laughter. However, there was a point in their lives where they thought that their boy, their source of laughter, would be taken away.
I started to develop a very dark and cynical sense of humor during my early twenties. It was a way for me to cope, to escape the drama surrounding my life at the time. I was very familiar with death. I lost friends and loved ones to suicide, some died from overdosing on some ungodly substance, and I lost a dear friend who was shot because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I tried to distance myself from these experiences I was just unpleasant to be around with.
This led me to a very dark path. I was nihilistic, where I didn’t even care if God existed. I was fatalistic, where I tested death by acting a fool. I could see Abraham’s dagger being raised in the air. I felt like God was running out of patience with me, and all I could do was scoff and laugh. I saw the dagger plunge downward, moments away from spilling my blood. Now it wasn’t a physical dagger, but I was trying to end my life with alcohol and other addictions.
So what happened? What changed me? How did I go from that to writing this blog? To be honest, as I reflect back on this, I can’t really explain it in a way that makes sense. It just doesn’t make sense. The only thing I can tell you is that there were people praying for me. I woke up one morning, I didn’t know where I was or what I did the night before, but felt this presence of just otherworldly calm and peace. I knew there was someone watching over me. I went on a journey searching for answers. Although my search for truth led me through many religions and philosophies, my search ended when I stood before Christ and gazed upon that cross. When I saw the blood that was spilled for me, everything that I experienced before just didn’t matter anymore. That’s when I decided to follow Jesus, to accept him as my savior. And just like that, I was forgiven, given a second chance… and I laughed.